The best way to start is to just start.

I have promised myself and others that I would write about things I have learned as a mother of an Autistic son so many times.

Aidan is 15 (nearly 16) now, 6 ft 1 inch tall, and sitting some exams in a few short months, at a special needs secondary and mainstream college.

I have shared stories here and there, some painful, some hilarious, and some insightful, maybe even helpful. But I always had an excuse handy as to why I couldn't start this journey.

And so here we go with the first of my things I have learnt as a mother of an Autistic son.

1.Growth hurts - a lot.

When Aidan was a toddler, he did not develop speech. If he needed or wanted something he would grab me by the hand and drag me to the bathroom or kitchen if I was lucky, but more often than not he would just explode in a meltdown, sometimes smashing his head of the radiator in frustration, because what it was he wanted had not appeared. He would bash at me with his tiny fists in such anger and I would be lost as to the reason.

He was also resourceful and took to eating the cat biscuits straight from the bag and drinking from the toilet. I wondered just how bad a parent I must be for him to be doing these things.

Getting his diagnosis, which is another story for another time, allowed me access to the National Autistic Societies Early-bird programme Here I learned that he could not differentiate me as a person separate to him. To him we were one. He expected me to know he was thirsty or hungry, feeling unwell, in pain, needing his potty. And to his mind, I was ignoring him, and hurting him by not understanding him.

So we tried Makaton as our first step - a simple form of sign language. I picked a dry day, sat in the garden just outside the doors, and every time Aidan tried to grab my hand I said "No - Aidan must say "Mummy" "Come"" and signed the two signs for those. As you can imagine, this resulted in quite spectacular melt downs and it was very hard as a mum to not give in to that little confused, scared, ball of snot.

But we persevered and by day eight or nine of repeating this every time he tried to take my hand - I should point out now I still fed, watered, changed and cared for him through this (just in case you were getting worried there) - he finally signed the word "Mummy". Well I showered him in chocolate - my main incentive for the rest of the makaton training and our progression to PECS - and it was so amazing to see that little light switch come on in his head as he saw I understood him. The sign for "come" came soon after and he loved lording it over me with his "Mummy come" commands and I was only too pleased to oblige.

That simple step was the start of his journey of communication, and by 4 he had some speech and by 5 he had said "Love you" for the first time which of course led to me being a blubbering wreck on the floor. God knows what he thought of that! Now he can hold a good conversation however he has several learned phrases - again for another time - which means he doesn't always get it 100%. But then, who does! He still resorts to signs when super distressed or in a noisy environment, and the whole family have adopted the sign for toilet as it is a handy one to have.

And so, No. 1 in things I have learnt as a mother of an autistic son:

1. Growth and development are not easy. They are hard, uncomfortable and can make you unhappy. But when you look back, you see that the pain was necessary and the end result was worth it. So don't give up. Ever.